Reframing through Daily Practice

A friend of mine began a practice of posting “three good things” on Facebook when she was diagnosed and treated for breast cancer. While I didn’t have anything nearly as serious as that, I decided that I needed to record the good things about my days. I just didn’t post them on Facebook. I bought an inexpensive planner and began listing the good things on most days. That began a practice I have kept for the last couple of years or so.

When I began this practice, I would try to write at night before I went to bed, but sometimes, I waited (er procrastinated?) until the next day, but I struggled with what to write. Sometimes, what I wrote seems so trivial or repetitive that I simply skipped a day or a week. I think in my mind, the good things had to stand out in some way. Along the way, a scrapbooking blogger and memory-keeper I had followed for years offered a class called “Here: Five Things.” She offered a prompt every day for a month for us to list five things we noticed or thought about that day. Sometimes, it might be to list five things we see from our window or five books we love. Often, the prompt was something simple and “everyday.” This month, she is offering a class called “Everyday Tiny Miracles,” along the same lines as the “Five Things,” but without the number five. Liz asks us to notice and pay attention to our days and look for the ordinary miracles around us.

These practices of listing the “good things” has been a blessing to me this summer. It has been a year of conflict and upheaval, personally and spiritually. I had to find a way to shift my thinking from the negative to the positive. I pulled out a lovely sky blue dot-grid notebook and dedicated it to the good things. Each evening, I told my inner critic, who is much harsher than any other critic, to step aside and “be quiet!” And I deliberately found three things about that day that were good. I began listing such things as the aroma of hot spice cinnamon tea in the morning, the puffy white clouds towering in the blue sky, a day without rain. Does it get repetitive? Yes. However, that doesn’t bother me as much anymore. Do I always write poetically? Heavens, no! Sometimes, I am lucky just to be able to spell correctly and use complete sentences! More often than not, my good things are bullet lists.

While researching some templates to guide my morning Bible study, I found a “gratitude” journal that had several elements: an affirmation, a place for a Bible verse and a prayer, and a place to list the gratitudes. I adapted that template for my “Good Things” journal. Each morning, I write an affirmation that I hope will guide my day. It might be as simple as “Pause and breathe,” or as spiritual as “I am a child of God.” Sometimes it might be a reminder that I am “enough” so that I quiet that very loud and obnoxious inner critic. Then, I list three or more things for which I am thankful. Again, I have to remind myself that my list doesn’t have to be grand; sometimes, I am simply thankful that I can breathe again after having a cold and spent the week prior congested. Or I am thankful for that cup of tea in the morning. Then, before bed, I list the good things about the day–the walk around the pond, the sight of the beaver head popping up out of the water in the pond, or the orange butterfly that wouldn’t hold still for the photo op.

The upshot of all of this is that this practice of morning affirmations and gratitude and evening “good things” has helped me be more positive on days that feel so heavy, and there have been a lot of those days recently. Anything can become an “ordinary miracle,” as Sarah McLachlan sings. It just makes life gentler.

This practice is not hard.

Take it one day at a time.

Begin with one thing, an affirmation, a gratitude list, or “three good things.” You don’t have to do them all. Add one new thing as you establish the habit.

Nothing is too trivial; the small things matter, too. Look for the “tiniest of the tiny.”

Pause your inner critic. Sometimes, you just need to tell it to “be quiet.”

I invite you to try your own version of this practice. Feel free to share in the comments.

G is for Grateful. . .

A couple of years ago, a dear friend was diagnosed with cancer. To help her through the hard days, she began a practice of listing “three good things” each day. It’s like a gratitude journal.

We know the research: keeping a gratitude journal or just being grateful improves attitudes and even health. Being grateful makes us happier people. I confess that I am not a consistent gratitude journal person. I keep a journal on paper and online in this blog. I used to post a “thankful Thursday” entry in this space, but have gotten out of the practice. Maybe I should start again.

So, what am I grateful for today?

  1. I am grateful for my family. I visited with the sons, daughter-in-law, and grandson yesterday. It is a treat to be with them for even a couple of hours. I played with Sully. We blew bubbles outside with his new Bluey bubble blower, listened a bit to his Talking Jesus doll, and “ate” carrots while we played “kitchen.” We also played with his monster trucks and made “hills” for them to jump. He is quite the chatter box now at three and a half.

2. The weather is beautiful today–clear blue skies, sunshine, warmth. Spring is here. I could do without the pollen everywhere, but I am glad to see the spring. The jasmine has bloomed already. My rose bush is turning red. Birds are flocking to the feeders.

3. It’s a trivial thing, but I am grateful that I can start my days with a cup of steaming cinnamon tea. (My favorite is the Harney and Sons Hot Cinnamon Spice tea). I don’t even have to add sweetener to this tea even though I do sometimes add a spoonful of honey to my cup. I don’t like black coffee, but I can drink this tea “black.” There is something about a good cup of tea that makes just about anything better.

4. This is not so trivial, but I am grateful that I can spend part of my mornings reading my Bible and doing some Bible study. In these times of political and social tumult, God’s word has comforted, strengthened, and encouraged me.

5. I am thankful for books! I have always been a reader. My mother says it’s my escape. And reading is partly that. I can retreat into the world of whatever book I’m reading and get so lost in it that I even forget where I am in the “real world.” I tried so hard to encourage that same feeling in my students.

Gratitude and thankfulness–two emotions that I need to feel all the time, not just when prompted. Perhaps I will begin my “three good things” practice once again along with the “thankful Thursdays” postings.

I will close with a Bible verse my grandmother taught me in Sunday school: “Oh give thanks to the Lord for He is good.”

Dreary Weather, but Thankful Thursday

It’s hard to be thankful for dreary weather. The fog, mist, drizzle, and rain settled in on Wednesday. Although the outside temperature was in the mid-60s most of the day, there was a “chill” in the air. That meant I had several cups of hot tea and a cup of the new-to-me McCafe horchata latte, to which I added just a little bit of half-and-half. It also meant that I did not get out for any photo walks.

Still, there is much to be thankful for:

  1. Good books. I just finished Alex Michaelides’s book The Fury, and started The First Ladies about the friendship of Eleanor Roosevelt and Mary McLeod Bethune. The latter is giving me much to think about.
  2. Hot beverages. The English believe that a cuppa can make just about anything better, and I believe it. I am not a big coffee drinker, but the occasional cup of some kind of “flavored” coffee is also comforting on chilly days.
  3. Music. “They” say it soothes the soul, and I do believe it. Listening to music can pick up my spirits and change my mood. Of course, there is something to be said for the silence as well. There is a Facebook meme that says something to the effect that music is the silence between the notes.
  4. The sounds of the birds outside the window. This morning, I heard the cooing of a mourning dove, probably sitting on the powerline that runs across our front yard. I couldn’t see it, but I definitely heard it over the hum of the machinery burying a new fiber optic cable in front of the house. (I’ll be even more thankful when that machinery goes silent! It has been rumbling and humming ALL. DAY. LONG.)

There was a popular book among the Christian community several years ago entitled One Thousand Gifts. The author made it a goal to list at least three things from her day that she perceived to be “gifts.” This book introduced me to the idea of the gratitude journal. Keeping a list of gifts in the ordinary does help put a positive spin even on those dreary, wet, miserable days. I will end with the psalmist’s words, which my brother-in-law greets our church with whenever he speaks: “This is the day the Lord has made; I will rejoice and be glad in it.”

The Curse Has Ended—Thankful Thursday

I am an Atlanta Braves fan. I love Braves baseball, and I don’t mind that they finished near the bottom this year. “There’s always next year!”

Now I am also a Chicago Cubs fan. You see, I know one of their relief pitchers, Carl Edwards, Jr. He was the pitcher on the Dixie Youth baseball team that CJ pitched for when those boys were in the fifth, sixth, and seventh grades. He was special then; he’s special now!

Chicago Cubs' Carl Edwards celebrates after Game 7 of the Major League Baseball World Series against the Cleveland Indians. The Cubs won 8-7 in 10 innings to win the series 4-3.

This is NOT my picture, though I wish it were! That joy you see in his face? That’s the joy I saw when I watched him pitch as a youngster. I just finished reading an article about CJ. He wants to use some of his major league salary to buy tickets for the Dixie Youth baseball teams to come to a professional game and to stand with him on the field during pre-game. He wants to build a Dixie Youth complex here in Prosperity for the little boys in the community. This young man is something special. Let’s go, Cubs!

Besides celebrating the Cubs’ World Series win, I have so much for which to be thankful:

  • John continues to recuperate and heal from those nasty kidney stones last week.
  • Aaron has a wonderful fiancée who is so family-oriented; she is, in part, responsible for restoring Aaron to his family.
  • My family gathered Tuesday night for an impromptu fish fry/Beaufort stew supper. Two of Mama’s neighbors came as well. Ms. Eleanor and Mr. Jack are like family. Mr. Jack’s wife passed away just a couple of weeks ago from Alheimer’s disease; Ms. Eleanor’s husband has been gone three years or so. You might think it was a sad affair Tuesday, but it was joy filled and so much fun!
  • My niece, my brother’s child, Georgia, may be a “beauty queen,” but Georgia has a generous heart. Last night, she hosted a Sonic night to raise money to find a cure for JM on behalf of a little girl whom she met during the summer. Elle has this auto-immune disease, for which there is no cure. Her white blood cells are attacking her body. Georgie, dressed in typical teen-age style last night—blue jeans, t-shirt, and her Miss Elite Teen sash—greeted customers with her beautiful smile.

This practice of making “gratitude lists” gets easier over time because the more I think about the gifts I have been given daily, the more I see them.

Thursday Thanksgiving

After a month of worry and sorry, it is time for me to pick myself up and change my attitude. St. Paul writes frequently that no matter what the circumstances, we should give thanks. So, I am making my thanks public—on Facebook. Each day I am posting one thing for which I am thankful. Since today is September 3, I am posting my Day 3 thanks here in this space.

Day 3–#RiseinGratitude Yesterday didn’t happen has planned. I should be used to that since the last three weeks have gone nothing like I had planned, but God has a way of intervening sometimes. Yesterday, I felt like being creative. Creative for me often means pulling out my camera and going for a long walk to see what there is to see, to receive (as Christine Valters Paintner says in her writing about contemplative photography) images. In doing so, I see how great my/our God is. What a masterful Creator He is! I did not walk, but I opened some images I had taken two weeks ago and played with editing and artistic choices. Not only did I satisfy that emptiness that lack of making art created, but I also reveled in the beauty that God places in the world. We may have lost Eden in the Fall, but God constantly reminds us of what Paradise is. Just look at this beautiful morning glory! Do you see the hearts? God loves us so much that He reminds of His paradise!#BEDIP

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June 1—The Experiment Continues

Actually, it’s not even a new experiment. Gratitude lists and journals have been around for a long time. Ann Voskamp wrote about her experiment to collect a list of 1,000 gifts, and she continues.

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Last month, I began an experiment of my own. I wrote a list of things for which I was thankful and grateful. Each day of month of May, I wrote down that number of gifts. By May 31, it was hard not to repeat that items, but you know, I think it’s okay to repeat myself, especially if that repeated item is something for which I am truly thankful, such as my music and my recent piano lessons. I have rediscovered my joy in playing piano, now that I actually have a piano to play!

So, this month, I am modifying my experiment in two ways, and again, I have to confess that I am not being extremely original. I read the other day about The Five Minute Journal, a printed journal with several prompts for the day:

  • Three things for which I am grateful;
  • What would make today great?
  • Daily “I am” affirmation statement?
  • Three amazing things that happened today
  • What would have made today even better?

According to the originators of the The Five Minute Journal, there is power in beginning and ending the day on a positive note. The three things in the gratitude list set the tone for positive things. The daily affirmation also helps us think positively about ourselves. (I am notorious for putting myself down, so this affirmation thing is really kicking my backside and changing the way I think.) At the end of the day, there is a bit of self-reflection on the positive things that happened, and reflection on how we could have met the goals of the day and how we can make the next day better.

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All of this goes into my journal where I write my morning pages (a la Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way).  It’s one of my three daily pages right now.

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There is an old saying that we see what we look for. So, this month, I am going to try to see the gifts in front of me, those things that God has given me—and to the world, and to accept those gifts with a thankful heart.

Will you join me? I bet we can come up with at least 1,000, but perhaps even 10,000!

Thursday Thanksgiving

It has been so long since I’ve written a gratitude list. This used to be a regular part of my blog. But then “life” happened, and I made some changes, and.  . . . 

Excuses, excuses.

So, today, I’m starting over. On Thursdays, I will post a list of things for which I am thankful. Ann Voskamp calls them “gifts” in her book One Thousand Gifts. In her book, she lists some of the ways that keeping a gratitude list helps: being thankful actually can make us healthier. It relieves depression, and certainly, not being depressed leads to better health. Being thankful and grateful makes us more pleasant to be around, for sure, and it leads to better performance all around.

So, here is my list for this week:

  • cherry blossoms. Several years ago, my darling husband decided that the blooming cherry tree in the back yard was taking up too much space, so he cut it. It was definitely a “George Washington” moment around the Fulmer household. I was heartbroken and devastated beyond belief. I looked forward to that cherry tree coming into bloom every spring. I knew that when that tree was in bloom, it would be warming up soon. DH (darling husband) told me that it would come back, that it would sprout from the stump. And it did, and finally, there were cherry blossoms on the tree this year!

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  • camellias. I’ve told the story so often about Grandma’s camellias and how she brought some seedlings with her when she left her home in Georgia after she married my granddaddy. This year, we had some deep freezes in February, the kind of freeze that goes to into the low tens and teens. One morning, it was 12 degrees here by the ponds! That kind of freeze! The camellia was budding, and I knew for sure that the buds had frozen, and I would have no bloom this year. God amazes me time after time. The camellia is in full bloom!
  • piano lessons. Okay, I know how to play the piano. I took lessons from the time I was eight or nine until I finished college. I could, at one time—the end of my junior year in high school, play Chopin’s “Military” Polonaise! I can’t now, but still. . . .  This year, I decided I wanted to take lessons again. I am studying with Wanda Neese, instructor of piano at Newberry College. I have rediscovered my love for the piano and for music in general.
  • blue skies. Not only have we had cold weather, we have had rain. I think one weather reporter said that in February, there were only six consecutive days of sun. March didn’t start out any better. We’ve had rain and clouds for seemingly days on end. But today, the skies were blue, the clouds were white, and the wind was just a gentle breeze.

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Share your gratitude in the comments below, or link up with me!